There is really only one thing that a man can
say about this flick: F’ing A+. If you're going into this with the
expectation of leaving the movie with a deeper appreciation for
life, then you're shit out of luck. This movie is about bad people who
need to be killed in creative ways and there is only one son of a bitch
that can do it: John Rambo. IF you are reading this and HAVEN'T seen
First Blood, then go and see
that. Take it in for being the best of the series. All of the things that Rambo does in it to
survive seem possible if a man was pushed to the brink. Rambo: First Blood, Part II pushes the
mythos even further by having him return to Vietnam and perform actions that
are a little more superhuman but never-the-less awesome. Watch these two nuggets before you go on the
journey that completes the trilogy.
Rambo
III
is one of those films from my childhood that stuck with me, although I didn't
realize it until watching it again for the first time about a week ago.
We had the VHS tape in my house when I was a young padawan, so that scene of
him cauterizing his stomach wound with gun powder himself was burned into my
head at a young age, and I am glad for it. The story is simple: Rambo
goes to the Middle East, Afghanistan specifically, to rescue his old mentor
Col. Trautman from the clutches of the bad Russians that are occupying the land
and flying around in advanced helicopters, making a lead salad of everything
they see. What the movie lacks in character development and general story
it makes up for in every other way that it should. The introduction
came in the first film and continued on a lesser note in the second, so by
the third, fans don't need the old 'why is he like that?'
story. We know John is tortured from his past. We know
all he was looking for was something to eat. We know that he
is searching for peace. And, oh yeah, he has killed more people than
all the Tic Tacs you’ve had in your life. And that is all you need to
know. This is an action piece, a great 'B' movie, if you want to call it
that, but it is so much more.
There are definitely a couple of things that
stick out for me. Stallone plays it so serious that by the end of the
movie, you are almost convinced that Rambo could have won World War II by
himself. He doesn't wink at the camera or let on that his world is fantastical.
He hurts, bleeds, and gets the job done, but never plays it funny. This
might not seem like much, but in some movies its’ as if you know the actor came
in for two months and cared more about getting his double cafe latte every day
than making something brutal and real. Stallone made it a point to look
like the perfect male in the 80’s and while his whole persona has been parodied
time and again, not many people have been able to do action more
convincingly. And although
this thespian is not for some, if you like him, then this movie should
especially be for you.
As I was saying earlier
about character depth and story, this movie does come up a little short,
but that is also a blessing really. An example is the
Ruskie Commander Zaysen saying to Trautman, "Who does dis man
tink he his, God?" Trautman:
"No. God would have mercy. He won't." I mean, with lines
like these, I don't think Richard Crenna was winning any SAG awards in the
late 1980's, but that also makes the movie. Rambo, by this point, is a mythical
character, so it’s only good business sense that everything else should match
up. When Rambo is going to kill 88% of the cast by the end of the movie
anyway, why bother making them anything but horrible. My favorite
moment from the movie would have to be near the end, when John let's out a
bombastic roar while playing chicken with the enemy that only
Stallone would attempt to put in every movie. But it's okay, because Rambo
is an animal that's real good at killing, so he can scream his head off all he
wants.
I guess
you have to watch it to know what I mean. With this film, you learn a
couple of things. One, if you are going to kill a soldier or a whole
platoon, it is always better if there is a sound guy on hand with you to throw
in a couple of slasher-techno chords right before the deed is done.
Two, if the entire U.S. Army would issue explosive arrows to their troops and
be taught to use them like John, the United States could take over the Middle
East in a couple months time easily. And three, if you are going to try
and convince Rambo that he is a born killer and that he should fight your war,
don't use a shitty sculpture analogy that takes four minutes just to
explain(Trautman, you fool!). This movie has a lot of good stuff going
for it, and for better or worse if I was in the forest with a bleeding wound, I
too would try to cauterize it with gun powder by myself. But
I don't want to ruin the film for you, so just put it on your Netflix and
thank me later. Can you tell me that you have you ever seen a guy
fall and snap his neck from a noose around it and THEN get blown
up from a grenade in his pocket? I didn't think so, you son'bitch.
On those grounds and the fact that John has protected your country for the
better part of thirty years, go get Rambo
III today.
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